注册 登录  
 加关注
   显示下一条  |  关闭
温馨提示!由于新浪微博认证机制调整,您的新浪微博帐号绑定已过期,请重新绑定!立即重新绑定新浪微博》  |  关闭

闵帆的博客

你快乐吗?我很快乐!

 
 
 

日志

 
 

Tyler, you are the greatest bouncer in the world  

2009-02-26 03:29:54|  分类: 经历 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

  下载LOFTER 我的照片书  |

Oh Tyler, you are the bouncer of the bouncers.

Your muscles are filled with wisdom.

You always tell people what to do and how to do, because you know everything.

And you never make any mistake. Never.

 

You are so nice to your family.

You are kind to Nicolas the eight years old son you had with your former wife, that you permit him to stay a couple of hours once a month, and keep reminding him “don’t do this, don’t do that” during his visit.

You are good at teaching Cali the four years old daughter, by telling her hold on when she coughs, sure when you cough loudly in the middle night, it is because you have emotional staff to express. After she painted on the wall using a shoe, she chose never telling you, since you never punish her, and in that way she is ashamed for doing wrong. Also, you tell people that she never lies to you even if she always claims, “I did nothing”, after hurting her younger brother.

You love Ken the two years old son so much, that you have him watching TV all the day. In that way he could learn English quickly, and clean the sitting room in no time. When his diaper gets full of pup, you will change it immediately in two hours. After he is hurt by Cali, you will clean his blood running through his month and chest.

You even throw the dishes into the dishwasher occasionally. This is so important, that when your lazy wife Joselyn come back after eight hours work, she only have to do nineteen housework instead of twenty.

 

You are just a gentleman.

You ask two most polite problems, “how old are you”, and “are you married?” the first time you meet a lady.

You invite friends who continue speaking dirty words to the home, and also speak some to show your etiquette.

 

You struggle so hard for your dreams.

You work so long, more than four hours in the midnight. After coming back, you still have to spend three hours watching TV, focusing on news about people’s quarrel, where dirty words are filtered, or movies full of women’s scream. Without the sound of these TV programs, and especially your snore, people in the house simply cannot fall to asleep.

You spend the whole morning in your bed thinking about key issues of the earth, without stepping downstairs until the noon or even two pm.

 

But alas, life is so unfair to you!

You are paid so little, that you can spend only three hundred dollars on buying CD at a time. You are so eager to take your kids to the amusement part, but that is so expensive, approximately twenty dollars for four hours! The government only gave you family seven hundred and fifty dollars a year for drawback. It should be one million!

The men repairing the house always come at ten in the morning, when you are doing the most important thing in the bed. Hopefully you seldom heard the bell so that you great idea was not disturbed. While how can he take more than one month to replace the broken microwave?

When you kept saying that your roommate is stupid, he even told you to stop! How can a professor speak to a bouncer in that way? You are giving him the most valuable suggestion. He should stop working on his computer, leave his room and meet people or have fun every hour, visit every corner of the city, and have a trip to another city every month. The reason is definitely unknown by him and even his instructor. Without your supervision, he could never make any progress in his research.

The University of Harvard should have provided you the highest scholarship, but instead no college has accepted you! After all that’s their loss, because you are so smart and you can become a famous professor in five minutes.

 

So I suggest you to go to China.

Where you will be provided a big house for free, with ten well-known chefs cooking for you, ten gardeners taking care of your yard, and more people to do other things for you.

Where you will be paid one thousand dollars for only 1 minutes’ work. And even when you lay in the sofa watching TV, you are still paid one thousand dollars an hour.

Where your fans surround your house all the day, waiting for you instruction.

 

Go to China, and you will know what is a real life!

  评论这张
 
阅读(70)| 评论(1)
推荐 转载

历史上的今天

评论

<#--最新日志,群博日志--> <#--推荐日志--> <#--引用记录--> <#--博主推荐--> <#--随机阅读--> <#--首页推荐--> <#--历史上的今天--> <#--被推荐日志--> <#--上一篇,下一篇--> <#-- 热度 --> <#-- 网易新闻广告 --> <#--右边模块结构--> <#--评论模块结构--> <#--引用模块结构--> <#--博主发起的投票-->
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

页脚

网易公司版权所有 ©1997-2018